Welcome to the Legion!

The OriginalsLegion contributor Dorina Arellano will be recapping The Originals each week! Follow her on Twitter @evildorina!

The most beautiful people on television are back! The second season of The Originals premiered, as expected, with all of the jazz, bloody gore, and paranormal sexiness. And, as always, the show’s writers continue to do what most shows fail to: get to the friggin’ point!

We open with auntie Rebekah telling baby Hope a “fairytale” that is basically a summary of what happened last season, but adding how the Mikaelson clan will once again regain control over their kingdom (New Orleans) from the enemy wolf clan headed by gangster kingpin Francesca Guerrera, who seems to have spent the entire off season getting progressively more freaked out and yelly on her employees, while dreading and futilely preparing for Klaus’ unavoidable attack.

Speaking of the angriest Mikaelson brother, he hasn’t left his home due to weakness and pretending to mourn the death of his and Hayley’s newborn daughter. He seems to have been spending his time listening to Mozart’s Requiem. You know, to cheer himself up. But yeah, I guess they’re both actually really sad that they have to be separated from their little one. New hybrid Hayley actually looks really pissed off and is taking nobody’s BS, not even from Elijah and his James Bond suit. She’s still mesmerizing to look at, though. Even when she’s angry. I like her when she’s angry. And, no, I do not have a girl crush on Phoebe Tonkin. I have an actual crush.

Meanwhile, Camille is getting it on with Marcel (get it, gurl!), whom I like to call “Vampire Lando” because that is one smooth talking, sexy vampire. He’s recruiting a new army of vampires with Josh, the gay vampire, who’s character refreshingly doesn’t revolve around being gay. Most of the other vampires were killed last season by the non-fluffy wolves. But Cami just wants things to go back to “normal” and asks the Mikaelson brothers to please do something about all the gangsters running the city, so she can go back to her normal, boring human life.

The Originals

She’s still friends with Davina, though, who finally told all her nasty witch friends to back the eff off and who’s still plotting her revenge with Mikael, cray papa Mikaelson, who’s sole purpose in afterlife has been to kill his wife’s bastard son Niklaus (Vampire Hulk?). She also meets some really good looking dude that used to be on Teen Wolf who’s probably evil. Yup! Dude is actually Kol Mikaelson, remember him? The Loki brother of the Mikaelson clan? He’s sorta reincarnated in a buffer looking dude’s body, and, as you may remember, Original queen bitch witch mama Esther and Original momma’s boy brother Finn are also back in other people’s bodies. The whole damn family’s back!

Which is why the premiere episode served its purpose by being awesome and getting rid of the entire Guerrera clan in a super cool montage of Team Vampire kicking Team Wolf’s ass by ripping off some fingers, hands, and arms (YAY!), and invoking what was probably history’s single most badass use of eminent domain to get their moonlight rings back and un-weaken Klaus. Elijah, ever the gentleman, let Hayley go all Kill Bill on Francesca, and it was great to see her all powerful and frightening. Later, though, she regrets it and freaks out at Elijah due to her new, less moral, more fun, hybrid self. So she and Klaus actually end up having a conversation where they don’t insult each other and even bond over their common goal: getting control of the city, so they can get their daughter back. Unfortunately for them, the entire pscyho Mikaelson gang returning should make things much more complicated. Who knows what they have planned? But I can’t imagine it being like a Brady Bunch reunion. Not as scary, at least. *shivers*

And the award for best The Originals related tweet goes to: William Shatner!

The Originals

About author View all posts

Dorina Arellano

Dorina Arellano grew up in the land of soccer, tacos and Morrissey, the awesome country that is Mexico. She's studied music since she was in her mother's belly, can hum all of John Williams' soundtracks, and sings some pretty amazing Buffy karaoke. She currently lives in Los Angeles with her toys, comic book collection, and equally nerdy husband, who doesn't seem to understand why Batman is better than Superman. She currently works for one of the nerdiest companies ever, Google. In addition to being a Legion of Leia contributor, in her spare time, Dorina also writes for Nerds In Babeland. Follow Dorina on Twitter @evildorina and dare to challenge her at Mario Kart.