Welcome to the Legion!

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“As if we would want to drink cheap beer out of plastic, and post about it on the internet.” “As if you know how to do that.”  Well this week it seems The Vampire Diaries may be staying out of the past of last week, and moving forward with the juicy here and now! How do our resident of Mystic Falls go about this…well A DANCE PARTY THAT IS!!! …you the know ones with some costume theme. One of the normal campy falls backs early season, but they’re always just so MUCH fun.
The opening flash forward is finally a happy one, kind of. Alaric is a happy daddy with two lovely daughters, that we currently have no information on. Its when Damon shows up on his front door that things get interesting. Seems they’re not very good friends in three years time. Whatever happens in the course of three years clearly destroys all the brothers relationships.

In the here and now Alaric is just obsessively sitting by the side of his deceased wife Jo (still the greatest character this show ever had!!). Here’s to hoping that Alaric really can bring her back, because the flash forward could also mean that she survives…those daughters were twins.

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Damon on the flip side is about to make the body swap with Momma Salvatore. Sadly, Lily doesn’t know that Oscar is dead, but at least she’s pulled Elena’s body out of what ever hole she stuck it in (turns out the ruins of the Salvatore Mansion, typical). However, when Damon doesn’t show up for the swap the evil sister Heretics come looking for their brother. Thankfully Lily’s brood is diminishing faster than they can kill the remaining residents of Mystic Falls.

Mystic Falls Ghost tours are the worst idea ever. Period.

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DANCE PARTY TIME!!!!! or distract the Heretics from killing Whitmore students. So it seems the theme for this seasons fun is Heaven and Hell. This party is more than murder of innocents in an effort to find Oscar, it’s instead a bit of a drama bomb. Stefan and Caroline decide the party is the right time to work through some of their issues, and on the flip side the lesbian evil sisters are bickering over their relationship problems. Clearly a 100 years in a prison world make Nora and Mary Lou incapable of adjusting to  the modern peddling of flesh, and constant attention seeking of strangers. A relationship that’s lasted over 120 years seems to be on its last legs.

Thankfully, using the mean girls relationship woes against them, Stefan and Caroline manage to remove the pesky vervain skin problem that Caroline acquired. Celebratory sex ensues…Whoop!

“Look at you sad sacks, you think I’m going to say no.” – Bon Bon. Bonnie has agreed to help Alaric out on his quest to bring back Jo, even if it goes against everything she believes is right. Because you know this is how everyone makes the correct decision on The Vampire Diaries. Maybe Zombie Jo will steal the spotlight and get her own show…move over iZombie, Dr. Jo Medicine Zombie is going to be a freaking hit! (I shall start penning the theme song now…and claim rights to this idea).

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However, as things go, Damon shows up with the body of Oscar and demands that they return him to life before working their voodoo on Jo. DAMNIT! Jo needs to grace this episode with hilarious quips and a few smacks up Alaric’s head. Alas they do succeed in bringing Oscar back to life (do I spy hope for Jo?). What no one accounted for though would be the ravenous hunger one would experience after being brought back from the dead, and with a ripper mentality Mystic Falls Ghost Tours suffer a tragic loss of business when Oscar eats their tour and the bus driver…and the tour guide…and you get the gist. Luckily Momma Heretic (as Lily shall be called hence forth) is quick to arrive and helps Damon slow down ripper Oscar.

In the background, as all Enzo stories seem to go, (he’s the Matt Donovan of vampires) he quickly hashes out that boring and psychotic Valerie killed Oscar. Yet, when he finally pieces together why she killed her brother-ish he agrees to help her. Guess his love for Momma Heretic is overriding his desire to help Lily find the creepy love of her life. Jealousy continues to reign supreme on The Vampire Diaries.

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Near the end, after Damon finally acquires Elena’s safety, he decides to sit down and write to her. It’s a tad heartbreaking. Turns out though he was waiting for someone and we get this seasons first Tyler sighting.  He shows up briefly to take Elena’s coffin off for protection.

JO’S ALIVE…..I REPEAT JO’S ALIVE!!!!!

 

Legion contributor Dash Wilder is recapping and reviewing The Vampire Diaries for us this season. Follow them on Twitter @DashKnowsAll! and follow her for gaming news at How Do I Jump? Follow on twitter at @hd1jump

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Dash Wilder

Dash Wilder is a contributor at Legion of Leia and one of the crazier member of the HD1Jump team. A gaming and news community found at @HD1Jump. She games ever obsessively over Bioshock and Mass Effect during the day, and slings drinks for Geeks and Gamers at night.

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