The world is dark and full of terrors. By some comic and cosmic coincidence, 2017 will host a ton of super heroic movies because whodathunk we’d be living in such a political climate where every day is like stepping into a squishy pile of cold poo that’s been laid down overnight? We need heroes. We’ll even take fictional ones that will at least break up the monotony of social media chaos.
2016 wasn’t a great year for movies. Sure we saw a few really awesome releases — Arrival, Deadpool, 10 Cloverfield Lane, Hidden Figures, and etc — but their numbers pale in comparison the amount of mediocrity we had to endure. And in terms of superhero movies, 2017 can’t possibly be a repeat of last year, right? RIGHT? Nah… After all, the best way to defeat a solid year of “meh” is to send wave after wave of even more action rompers featuring super powered humans, teenagers with attitude, aliens, and one cyborg. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
Get ready to eat a lot of popcorn, friends. Here are the superhero action movies coming to a theater near you.
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
Luc Besson is not to everyone’s taste, just take a look at Lucy starring Scarlett Johansson. But The Fifth Element and Léon the Professional were amazing, so there. Valerian is an adaptation to a classic French comic book series that features tons and tons of otherworldly settings and characters. Just by looking at the trailer (above), it looks as though we’ll be getting a visual experience we haven’t seen since James Cameron‘s Avatar and all the charm and awesomeness we loved in The Fifth Element. Can’t. Wait.
Ghost in the Shell
I don’t mean to sound insensitive or flippant about the controversy surrounding the casting of this movie, but can we just take a look at it and see it for what it is? A live-action adaptation of Ghost in the Shell is a big deal. Scarlett Johansson as The Major is a big deal. The manga, the anime film, and the anime television shows were big deals. Ghost in the Shell‘s world alone is the stuff of every science fiction fan’s wet dream, and its compelling stories have only launched the franchise into legendary status. We should be so lucky that someone in Hollywood has recognized its popularity and dared to attempt such a daunting task of adapting it for a wider American audience. It remains to be seen if this version of Ghost in the Shell will do its source materials any justice, but at least we’re guaranteed a visual banquet.
The LEGO Batman Movie
The LEGO Batman Movie is the inevitable spin-off to the surprisingly successful The LEGO Movie. The Block Knight (see what I did there?) is used to saving Gotham alone. But there are big changes a-brewin’ when The Joker comes in for a city-wide hostile takeover. On top of that, he has to learn to accept help from his new side-kick and police Commissioner Barbara Gordon. This one promises to be intentionally funny, unlike some of its predecessors (Schumacher’s Batman films and The Dark Knight Rises) which were only accidental comedies.
We may not be getting the Old Man Logan adaptation many fans wanted, but we are finally being introduced to X-23, a genetic clone of Logan but in little girl form. This also looks to be a deeply personal look into the lives Wolverine and Professor X as they try to save a girl from outside forces, and by extension themselves (on an emotional level). Logan looks to be a perfect signing off point for actor Hugh Jackman whose been portraying the character for almost 20 goddamn years.
Wonder Woman is one of three DC movies coming out — I’m counting LEGO Batman. For the sake of comparing apples to oranges, in this case Marvel to DC, Wonder Woman is DC‘s version of Captain America: The First Avenger, what with the distinct vintage flavor and World War setting. Plus, I’ve always considered the Amazonian Princess to be the heart of the super trifecta. I look forward to director Patty Jenkins‘ vision of Wonder Woman, which already looks bright and colorful and downright cheery compared to its gloomy predecessors, Man of Steel and Batman v Superman. Third time’s the charm, right? I sure hope so.
Speaking of DC movies…
This is the first ensemble movie from the DC Cinematic Universe, and you know what? It might be good. It might not be, but it could be good. After all, it’s got that pesky Zack Snyder attached as the director. Even he has at least one good movie under his belt, so maybe this will turn out to be a solid film. And hey, we can all celebrate the fact that we’re finally getting the most badass character in the entire franchise besides Wonder Woman, Aquaman.
Marvel is quite persistent in trying to make Thor a relevant character in the MCU after The Dark World, but they needed to put the Hulk somewhere, might as well be a Thor movie. All that being said, Ragnarok might actually be exciting. Not only is it brining in Benedict Cumberbatch to reprise his role as Doctor Strange, but also Cate Blanchett as Hela, Tess Thompson as Valkyrie, Karl Urban as Executioner, and Jeff Goldblum as Grandmaster. Hell yeah, Odinson!
As if you need reminding that the web crawler is coming back to Marvel. It’s a good thing Peter Parker is as nimble as he is with high school, super heroism, Tony Stark, and the world of expectations weighing on his shoulders. Eh, he’ll be fine.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Wow. Four Marvel properties in one year…. Having knocked the first film out of the park, James Gunn returns to direct Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. The cast of quirky heroes returns to fight another day, plus some new additions to the team — Yondu, Mantis, and Nebula. New baddies, new characters, a few surprises, and one giant talking planet played by Kurt Russel. This is gonna be awesome.
Y’know what? F**k it. I have just enough morbid curiosity to go see this film. Bryan Cranston, Bill Hader, and Elizabeth Banks? Cool. I’m in. Plus, I can finally get behind the whole “teenagers with attitude” requisite for being a Power Ranger this time. The original series just didn’t sell it well enough. Those turkeys were all goody-goodies.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi
How could we make a list about heroes and not mention Star Wars? Pretty sure that’s a cardinal sin given how it is so engrained into our culture. The Last Jedi is the continuation of the old heroes handing their galaxy-saving responsibilities off to a younger generation. The Last Jedi has the potential to be better than The Force Awakens by peeling back the layers in our newer heroes, finding out what Luke’s been up to on that rock, and telling some new stories.
That’s our list. Did we leave anything out? Let us know which movie you’re excited to see this year in the comments below!